My eyes, close to having astigmatism (I bet), are now getting weak and heavy. I got drained. Yesterday, I arrived home from work at around eight o'clock in the morning however my eyes did not feel tired nor any signs of drowsiness. Usually, I lay myself to bed at around ten o'clock in the morning, then the next thing I know it's already six thirty in the evening whenever my alarm snoozes. Eight hours of sleep, for me, is already heaven. Who wouldn't want it anyways? But yesterday was different. Damn! I haven't had enough sleep...uhmm, let me rephrase it ~ I wasn't able to sleep at all!. A roaring noise of chainsaw, big boom of trunks falling on the ground (feels like earthquake for a second) disturbed my eardrums as group of people were somewhat busy at cutting trees for their purpose. Their operation happened just right behind our backyard. *..Boo..* I was surprised and irritated! Buhay pa pala mga chain saw ngayun. I wish chainsaws have silencers. Gawwd, if only!
While I'm writing this post, I am wearing my headset on waiting for a call to come in... *Beep* Arghh...Imagine how hard it is to manage a call when eyes almost wanna give up. That is what I am feeling right now. I feel that my body is deteriorating. I ended up browsing websites about tranquilizers. I thought of it as my possible last option for sleep disorder. If they would resume their operations today, i would definitely consider taking up drugs!
Wait...what am I talking here? Am not even sure if you all could relate to what I am talking about? What i am trying to say is that... I'M TIRED! 'Yun lang naman. :'(. I am now deprived of having good sleep especially during rest days. *frown*. This has been my on-going drama for a couple of weeks now. When I complained about not getting enough sleep, my boyfriend's common response is : "daghan man jud ka ug gina-hunahuna"....MY POINT, EXACTLY! Who would not think of an upcoming wedding that would happen in 45 days time?
"When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past" ~ Unknown
I reserve my two days off for appointments, walking around divisoria, meet ups with designer, talk to coordinator, obtaining flower girls body measurement..and..*catching my breath* STOP! *insert feeling of anxiety here* two days are not enough! Honestly, I could not finish one wedding recipe in a day. There are some lacking ingredients at the end of the day only waiting for approvals. So logically, if we could only work on our preparations during two rest days in the seven weeks remaining then it simply means that we only have fourteen days to finish what needs to be done?!...Now we're doomed!
I was once reminded by my friend, Josh, not to get too tied up with my emotions. Relax, take it easy, everything will fall into place... that's what they say. But I'm impulsive, i know! In fact, I was warned that days of anxiety would really come that you wouldn't know what to do. Well, that is exactly what i am feeling right now. I'm pressured!
I blame myself for not getting right amount of sleep. As a result of feeling restless, i told my partner about my emotional status at the moment (considering my insensitivity at times, being heartless and not minding the consequences). He then assured me that I could leave it all to him and that he would take responsibility of whatever's lacking with the preparation. His replies made me get back to my consciousness. I told my self, "it's time to get down to business.. This is not the appropriate time para mag OA".
